Issue #41
World-Changing Kindness Projects
Living In The Outflow
Ask Dr. Savant
Deep Thoughts
Outward Focused Living
Servant Evangelism: Advice From a Pro
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| RESOLVE NOT TO BE A JERK IN 2010 | |
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My 2010 Resolution? No More 'Mr. Jerk' One of the many things that one encounters in ministry are those encounters that include personal insults towards you or your family. I am talking about people that take cheap shots, make hurtful comments, demean, belittle, chastise, and say and do other caustic things directed at you. I call them Jerks! Dictionary definition- ‘an annoyingly stupid or foolish person; an unlikable person; especially: one who is cruel, rude, or small-minded.’ There are other ways to describe them as you will see from the next paragraph. But, I prefer to be civil in this blog and ‘jerk’ will suffice. Of course, we all can put names to the word ‘jerk.’ And what is worse, are those times when I have been a ‘jerk!’ Yes, I confess that there have been times when I have been a ‘class A jerk!’ I plan to change that in 2010.  As I was studying and meditating on this issue; I came across a book by Robert Sutton entitled, The No Asshole Rule: Building a Civilized Workplace and Surviving One That Isn’t.(Yes, it really does say that in the title; David edited it in his blog, but I left it in for effect. Please send complaints to me, not David: KHG--Editor, Serve Magazine) It’s called the definitive guide to understanding, counteracting, and not becoming an asshole. Obviously the workplace is a prime place for this type of person. But, it is not exclusive to it as we all have seen our fair share in the church and among its leadership. Sutton has a dirty-dozen list of everyday ‘jerk’ actions: 1. Personal insults 2. Invading one’s personal territory 3. Uninvited personal contact 4. Threats and intimidation, both verbal and non-verbal 5. Sarcastic jokes and teasing used as insult delivery systems 6. Withering email flames 7. Status slaps intended to humiliate their victims 8. Public shaming or status degradation rituals 9. Rude interruptions 10. Two-faced attacks 11. Dirty looks 12. Treating people as if they are invisible I am sure that you can identify with some of these or maybe all of them. We all have seen them and experienced them. In his book, Sutton tells you how to avoid a jerk and how not to become one yourself. On his blog he tells of a church Sunday class that even used his book! That’s bold!!!! Obviously, the Bible tells us how to live with and respond to jerks. “But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;…” Matt 5:44 KJV (there are many other references in the Bible). I heard Loren Cunningham, founder of YWAM, answer a question last night about all the criticism and attempted character assassinations directed at him over his lifetime, ‘How did he survive and stay full of joy?’ He said he forgave them all. Therein lays the key on how to deal with jerks! Don’t respond to them, forgive them! If I have been a ‘jerk’ to you, please forgive me and pray that I will, by God’s grace, change and refrain from being one in the future. Does anyone want to join me in the pursuit of this New Year’s Resolution?
 David Kerr is a pastor and author. He is honest and humble--a real straight shooter--and if he is not on your regular blog reading list he should be. He is a leader of leaders. You can visit his site here:PASTORAL PONDERINGS | |
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