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How Do You Taste?
By Billy Bob Briggs

Well folks, I sure hope your Fourth of July went better than the family reunion-slash-barbecue-slash-backyard BMX rally and Rodeo show that we had at the Briggs family farm. Don't get me wrong, I love my family--in small doses--but sometimes I kinda wonder if we couldn't raise a whole bunch of money for the homeless or curing cancer by charging admission for folks to see our gatherings. There has not been a family event in the last decade that didn't compete with a carnival freak show. If you think Joe Bob and I are a bit rough around the edges, you should meet my sister's husband and his family--and they are the fairly normal ones. I don't know who decided it would be a good idea to get my relations together for the summer holiday where they would be near both alcohol and fireworks, but they should have had the even better idear to get the promoters of the Blue Collar Comedy Tour to come out and film this stuff. Why it just conjures a long rant from Jeff Foxworthy on finding out if your a redneck, complete with my father in law handing out signs for stupidity faster than Bill Engvall could think them up. Then there is my uncle George who makes Ron White seem like the model sponsor for Alcoholics Anonymous. As to Larry the Cable Guy, well turn in any direction and spit and you are bound to hit some sleeveless, unemployed guy smearing his chin with barbecue sauce as he relates his philosophy of life, and why he lost his job anyways, to the last movie he watched, punctuated by shouting "Git 'Er Done!" when they really want to drive the point home. Yup, they are just like me, but on social steroids.

So why am I talking about my family when the theme this month is about making an impression? Don't git your britches in a twist, I'll get there--you'll see. Now, what was I sayin? Oh yeah. Two reasons. One, making an impression around family don't mean didly squat. They know your good and bad, and no matter how weird it gets, they tend to stand by you through thick and thin. Church world does not work that way. That bothers me. We can talk about how we package the gospel or approach others all we want, but Jesus said it best:

"They will know you by how you love each other."

Think about that for a minute. We often refer to the church as the family of God. Well, let me just say, that as a group, the way we treat each other is pretty darn hideous. See, above there, how I was talking about my family--poking fun at some of them--that was very gentle compared to how some of you talk about other denominations and faiths. Listen up folks. The world watches how we treat each other very closely. Why would someone want to "join" our dysfunctional family? One of my favorite movies that takes this to extremes is Saved. You may call this hyperbole (you didn't think a country boy like me knew a fancy term like that--surprising what you can pick up with a semester at the county community college) but just watch it and realize that some of the goofy crap we do to each other is the most powerful impression the world is left with about us and God:

I sure know one thing. We need to be careful about leaving folks with a nasty taste in their mouth when it comes to God. See it reminds me of that family picnic talked about above. Every gathering we always let Ted do the cooking. I don't know why we do that--his approach to cooking is to make a burnt offering to God. I think he must be a might bit uncomfortable with his manliness or he is color blind, because nothing pink ever leaves his grill. On the upside, you won't die of food poisoning--he sanitizes with heat. On the downside, if you get one of his special "well-done" burgers, well they are so crispy, you might as well take a bite out of used charcoal dust mixed with ketchup. Yes, it is that bad. I love him to death, but the man is dangerous around grill tools. Here is the sad thing. If you are not careful and do get one of these crispy critters on your plate--everything else is ruined. Aunt Jane's awesome potato salad will taste like an ashtray. Millie's incredible baked beans will end up tasting like road tar. See once you get a bad taste in your mouth, no amount of beer or cherry pie can reverse the damage done to your fried taste buds for several hours.

Do you see where I am going with this folks? If you offer up an interaction with a non-believer that leaves them angry and confused, you have prevented them from tasting and seeing the marvels of God's kingdom.

By the way, that includes an attempt to make the gospel cool and "relevant." It is okay to relate God's love in practical way and demonstrate it to others, but don't go overboard because it will come off cheesy. You might as well be taking red Kool Aid, mixing it with cheap beer and trying to tell folks it is a fine wine as you serve it to them in Dixie cups.

Billy Bob Briggs is a cousin to the infamous Drive-In movie critic Joe Bob Briggs. We can't afford to pay Joe Bob, so we offered Billy Bob a chance to try his hand at being a movie critic at Serve! in exchange for two cases of Husman's Barbecue Pork Rinds for each article he writes for us. We happen to think he is a bit funnier than Joe Bob and we hope you agree. If you have a film or internet video you would like Billy Bob to consider reviewing please email him.

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